|
We’ve all experienced it -- advice from well-meaning family or friends whose words seem to stick in the back of our minds like dried pablum on a high chair. “If you comfort the baby every time she cries you’ll spoil that child.” But can you really spoil a baby? Researchers, and millions of parents the world over, have proven you can’t. Responding sensitively and consistently to your baby’s needs builds what experts call secure infant attachment. That’s the deep emotional connection that babies feel toward their main caregivers – usually parents. And it’s a natural, but very important, connection that young children need for healthy emotional development.
In fact, responding promptly and affectionately to babies who are upset actually helps them become more independent as they grow older. Babies who do not get their needs met consistently learn they cannot trust their caregivers. They may become clingy, anxious and too focused on the caregiver. That can prevent them from exploring their environment and learning. At the other extreme, they may become too independent, dismiss the caregiver and not be able to respond to guidance and redirection. Research shows that parents who respond sensitively and consistently will have a positive impact their baby’s brain development. The first year of life is the most crucial for children to receive experiences that enable proper development. This is the time when the parts of the brain responsible for emotions and behaviour regulation, interpersonal relations language and memory are developed. The attachment relationship directly shapes how an infant’s brain matures. Whether a child develops secure infant attachment depends a lot on how parents (or main caregivers) respond to them when they are frightened, upset, hurt or sick. It’s important to respond to your baby’s needs as soon as possible. Be consistent and react in a sensitive and warm way when he’s distressed. That will enable your baby to trust you and be confident that you will meet his needs. Even when he’s not upset, your baby needs to experience lots of close contact and active involvement with you (like hugging, kissing, cuddling, singing, playing, and exploring together). Studies show that infant attachment influences how children will think, learn, feel and behave throughout their life. Secure infant attachment enables babies to feel safe and confident. That, in turn, gives them the self-assurance they need to explore and learn about the world around them. It also provides a model for healthy interaction that sets the stage for how children will likely relate to others in the future. It is never too late to promote secure attachment. Remember to respond sensitively and consistently to your baby’s needs, especially in the first year of life. Touch your baby lovingly. Infant massage is a wonderful way to connect emotionally and to spend quality time with your baby. Talk to your baby often and sing to her. Play with your baby. Let her know how special she is to you and how much you appreciate her. Remember also that it’s equally important for you to nurture yourself during the demanding years of parenting. If you feel down or depressed or if you find yourself becoming angry or overwhelmed by your baby, it may be more difficult to respond sensitively to your child. Confide in someone you trust like a close friend or family member. Or, contact your local public health office, the Parent Help line (1-888-603-9100), or Parents Anonymous of Kamloops (376-6800). |
